For the anon asking about good boys: yes! There definitely are! 🙂 I've been dating the same guy for almost 5 years and he is great. When i came out as bi to him he was so chill about it. He is caring and loving and listens and makes me laugh (and breakfast). But sometimes I get so sad hearing about other womens experiences with (straight) guys 🙁 I hope you find a wonderful person to love and who loves you, regardless of gender <3
are there good boys to date out there? because i id as bi but i'd rather to do just the sex part with them, i'm afraid they turn out to be aholes like most i know. i just want to find a bi boy because i feel they'd be nicer than straight ones? i don't want to stereotype but my experiences are not perfect with them lol
There’s definitely hope, anon!
People of all identities can be assholes. But, as a general rule of thumbs, people who have gone through the same things as you have/share the same interests/views may be easier getting along with. Being bi is a big aspect of a person’s life and identity, so sharing this can be fulfilling, but it wouldn’t be a guarantee that the other person is a good person simply because of your shared identity. Having differences can be just as fulfilling, and one can learn some important things from the other person that way. (Of course, generally speaking, no one should have to tolerate someone else’s views if their viewpoint disagrees with your existence/basic human rights!)
Bottom line, there’s no need to rule out guys who aren’t bi, but whatever makes you happy is what you should go for (:
– Mod Elena 🌻
YOUR NAME IS BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE AWESOME
M-me? AAAAH thank you so much!! This is so sweet and nice?? 😳😊🌻♥️
– Mod Elena 🌻
On the first day I met him, my psychiatrist and I were talking about how I’m attracted to mostly girls, and he asked, “do you think some of the girls felt threatened?” and I said in an angry tone of voice, “I’m not trying to hurt or threaten anyone, but I’m also not trying to hide.” A couple days later, we were talking about how I love people really intensely (I have BPD), and he literally used the word “suffocating.” God, I feel so bad. Can you tell me he’s wrong and my love isn’t a bad thing?
Wow! Your psychiatrist doesn’t sound like he knows a lot about LGBTQ+ topics in general, or at least not how to properly adress it. It’s definitely a very bad thing that he makes you feel bad for loving others! A psychiatrist is supposed to be supportive, so if you have other options, the best thing would probably be to change to another one.
Anyways, listen: your love is BEAUTIFUL. Love is the most powerful emotion and love is NOT a bad thing to feel. You’re perfectly valid, and your attraction to women is, too.
– Mod Elena 🌻
So I thought I was a lesbian for a long while now, but I'm starting to think I'm actually bi? Like I do really love girls a lot, but I might also be open to the idea of dating a man (particularly my last boyfriend who I do still love and am best friends with), but then I think back to all my previous relationships with men and only two of them were healthy and enjoyable and I feel like I won't be happy in another relationship with a man. I also very often wonder if I'm bi. Any advice?
In general, one shouldn’t keep one’s past experiences in the way of identifying as something new, but in your case, you say you NOW might feel open to dating a man. That’s all that really matters!
Maybe there’s a possibility that the unhealthy relationships with men just happened because they were unhealthy, and not the fact that they were men?
My advice to you is to try to figure out which of your statements feel the strongest “I might also be open to the idea of dating a man” vs. “and I feel like I won’t be happy in another relationship with a man.” It can be hard to identify feelings like these, but with time, I’m sure it’ll all come to you. Try to step out of yourself and see it from a “detached” perspective, and maybe it’ll seem clearer. And remember, the idea of dating a man is very different to being attracted to men. Are you attracted to men? If you can’t give a clear answer, then I suggest just going with the flow and feeling whatever you might feel, or not, and not try to force anything (that will confuse the process!)
Finally, no matter what you end up identifying as, remember your attraction to men, or lack thereof, is 100% valid!
– Mod Elena 🌻