my parents aren’t homophobic per se, but they’re the kind of people who go, “look, a /queer/” if they see a LGBT person somewhere, and keep this condescending distance from LGBT things. do you think it’s safe to come out to them?

I’d actually say that IS homophobic…even passive homophobia like purposefully avoiding LGBT things or making snide remarks is homophobic. I don’t have enough information on whether it’s SAFE to come out, I think that’s up to you to determine, but beware that they sound homophobic, so I think it might be best to wait until you’re an adult, financially independent or have a back up plan (like someone to stay with if the environment became unsafe). I think it might be worthwhile figuring out more about their views first though? Like maybe bring up a television show or a friend who is LGBT and see how they react…that might give you a far better indication. Then once you have that, you can reassess the situation.