Category: Anonymous

First off, I want to say that I love and appreciate this blog (and I’m also a bi Luke lmao) and sometimes I doubt myself because I’m mostly attracted to girls and barely attracted to guys but I’m trying to ease myself into being open to liking men more and you’re a great help thank you

Well heya there Luke! First off I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been dealing with the same issue recently.

First off I should say that being Bi doesn’t necessarily mean equal attraction to genders, and there’s no quota to say that you have to have to have liked/dated a certain amount equally!

As for opening up on liking men more, that’s a little more to do with personal comfort, and if I’m saying from a personal level I just started liking fictional guys and discussed them with some friends, and we sort of made a comfortable space and it got to the point where I could really start to admire guys fully. If you do ever need someone to be that person, drop your URL in our ask box and i can PM you.

– Mod Luke

How do you battle internalized biphobia? I’ve been struggling with that A LOT recently. After being told it all my life, I’m starting to believe that it is just a phase and that what I’m feeling isn’t (for lack of a better word) ‘valid’.

I just answered this ask, I think it might help you.

right, ok so, I always feel like i’m lying. I feel like I’m just saying I’m bi for attention or to feel included. I feel like all the times I have found girls cute or pretty I don’t mean it. other times, I feel bad for finding guys attractive because i feel like i need to prove something, i feel like I’m just lying to myself and to the friends who ive told that I’m bi. i don’t know what’s wrong with me. this is really stressing me out and making me confused.

continuation off of my last ask thingy… i just don’t know why i feel like I’m lying to myself. i know i like girls and guys. i know its okay to. what the fuck is wrong with me? sorry, just felt like ranting, I’m just not really sure what is going on with me. this blog has helped me quite a bit, so thank you for posting and stuff lol. th

This is probably internalised biphobia. All of these thoughts are. My hints & tips for dealing with it, is:

1. When you catch yourself thinking one of these things, counteract it with a statement. 

E.g. You think “I’m bi for attention”, counteract it with “Why would I go through all the trouble of coming out, the backlash and biphobia, why would anyone want to deal with this pain for attention I could have gotten from changing my hairstyle or something much much easier?”

You think “I don’t mean it when I think a girl is attractive”, say “What STRAIGHT person thinks about girls this much? What straight person has to CONVINCE themself they’re not into girls?”

When you worry that finding guys attractive and dating them will make people think you look less bi, see here. And remind yourself bi MEANS multiple genders. You’re perfectly allowed to like and show interest in more than one gender, because you’re bi, not gay.

2. Follow bi affirmation and positivity blogs

3. Vent to a friend and get support and affirmation from them that you’re Really bi…preferably another bi friend.

So I’m a cis female and have identified as queer or bisexual for the past few years. The reason I sometimes don’t say bisexual is because I feel like the term bi implies an even split in attraction if that makes sense. I would say I’m like 80% attracted to women and then 20% attracted to men. Is there another term that means mostly attracted to members of the same gender but slightly attracted to members of a different gender? Or is this just my internalized biphobia?

Internalised biphobia. Bi definitely does NOT imply equal attraction or no preferences, equal attraction as a bi person is in fact rare, and you can say “Bi with a preference for women” to cover it.

yo, I can’t see the faq cause I’m on mobile, is there any other way of seeing it?

you can just type FAQ if you’re on browser after the address, or follow that link. I’ll try and figure out a way for mobile users to access it easier though.

I’m struggling a lot with labels, I thought I was heterosexual for a long time until everyone pointed out it was weird I’d never been with anyone romantically or otherwise. a few people suggested I was asexual and I was pretty unsure about it but kind of agreed? then i thought maybe I’m bisexual but then I was like no I’m probably gay but then I realized I was attracted to lots of nb people too, so maybe pan? so is it wrong to mainly identify as bi when I really don’t know? this is confusing sry

If you’re into nb people and a binary gender that’s definitely bi! Bi just means 2 or more genders so like, that definitely fits under bi. It’s definitely not wrong to ID as bi even if you’re not 100% certain. And remember if it changes in the future it’s DEFINITELY okay to change labels! Stick with what feels good to you, what feels like it Might be right (and if you’ve felt those attractions to multiple genders then it probably is!)

It’s also ok to use a broad term like “queer”, ID as questioning, or simply say “I like X and X genders”. Whatever feels best to you.

I think I might be bi but I’m scared to come out to anyone because I feel like I’m faking it. like sexuality never occurred to me like it did to most of my other friends (straight/gay/pan/etc). I’ve never been with anyone, guy or girl. am I really able to make that call about my sexuality if I’ve never even dated?

Yeah, you don’t need any kind of experience to know you’re bi. If you think you might be, that’s enough. You don’t even need to be 100% certain. As long as you think you might be, and it feels right to use that label, go ahead. Also, the “I always knew” thing is bullshit. There’s loads of people who didn’t “always know”. Good for those who did, but that narrative isn’t a universal truth.

I’m straight I think, but whenever I watch porn I watch the woman- is that gay?

Not really. What kind of porn you watch usually doesn’t indicate sexual orientation. You’re possibly focusing on the woman’s pleasure, and perhaps seeing yourself in her place. That’s pretty normal. Straight women watch lesbian porn sometimes too and they’re no less straight. So I wouldn’t necessarily take porn as a good indicator of anything.

But if you think you’d be into dating/being with girls/other genders, or maybe you think you might felt have felt attraction to them, then you might be bi.

i kind of came out to my close (online) friend (theyve listened to me talk a lot about sexuality but today i said i was getting comfortable w the bi label) and it feels not as stressful as I thought it would! i feel like I’m pretending I’m bi for attention a lot of the time (which is stupid because I haven’t told anyone else) but it felt nice to kind of come to terms with it. that’s all just wanted to vent/overshare, thank you!

That’s great! I’m glad you’ve felt comfortable to do that, and you feel more comfortable with yourself and your identity…and now you have a supportive friend on your side which is fantastic!

I’m attracted to men and women but I feel like when I find a girl I like I automatically compare myself to her and feel like every girl is always way out of my league so idk what to do

Yeah I find myself doing that a lot…it’s a product of low self esteem usually. I think you should work on yourself, to realise that you ARE good enough for any gender, that you ARE worthy of awesome girl’s affection. I think you could use some general self positivity…you can write your OWN self esteem boosting affirmations and queue them, or write them down in a diary. 

If anyone knows of any good self positivity blogs, please reblog them so anon can find them!