Category: Being Bisexual

It’s Not A Phase: Bisexual People Know Exactly Who They Are – Connecticut Voice:

The struggle of leaving the closet, coming out and living authentically is one of the biggest challenges anyone LGBTQ can face. Fears of rejection by family and friends, doubts about job security, and the threat of being judged a sinner can nail that door shut for years, even decades…

It’s to be expected that changes in our culture, our state laws, and a remarkable revolution in religious tolerance won’t be universally embraced. But who knew those advances might benefit certain members of our community more than others?

“An ex-girlfriend once exclaimed, ‘I just don’t understand how you can be attracted to men and women,’” says Vickey Allen of Middletown. “Luckily, my response – ‘I don’t understand how you’re only attracted to women’ – clarified it for her.” She was 12 when she first realized that she was bisexual, Allen says. Since then, she says, “I’ve encountered plenty of biphobia” [which] can occur both within and outside the LGBT community”

“I’ve known I’m bisexual all my life,” says Jamie Fernandez of Greater Hartford. “I came out to friends as bisexual and was quickly called ‘greedy,’ told to ‘pick a side’ or asked if I flipped a coin to decide. For many years, I denied part of myself.” Fernandez, 43, is a bisexual transgender woman in a polyamorous relationship … “I didn’t have issues with me being bisexual; others did,” Fernandez says. “And I internalized that and did the same harmful behaviors others do in dismissing the validity of others’ lives.”

That word – “phase” – is perhaps the most common misconception about bisexuality; that either someone cannot choose between being gay or straight or is temporarily caught in between those orientations … “If it is,” says Caleigh Price, 47, “It’s a reeeaaallllyyyy long one…”

“Everything is a phase. Life is a phase,” says Jen Carpenter… “To invalidate anyone’s sexuality based on a time frame is to invalidate life. Nothing is finite, most importantly life. But is that to say that we are not alive just because one day we will not be?”

Bisexual+, Biromantic+ or otherwise MSpec? Same-gender Loving (SGL)?  Queer-identified or Questioning? Live work or play in Connecticut USA? Make sure to join the Bisexual+ Connecticut FB Group & the NYC Tri-State Area Meetup to keep up with all the many things that are going on in your community.

I mean, who didn’t try monosexuality in college? But it’s obviously just a phase.


Q: What do you call a bisexual who’s in a relationship with someone their own gender?
A: Still a bisexual.

Q: What do you call a bisexual who’s in a relationship with someone who’s not their own gender?
A: Still, Still a bisexual.

Image: A four cell cartoon, there are three “Characters” consisting of vaguely Human-shaped Blob Creatures with eyes.  To the left there is a slightly larger Blue Creature and a slightly smaller Pink Creature.  Facing them to the right is an in-between size Violet Creature.  The dialogue is in Italian. And the creator is identified as @Enbee.Arlo

Cell 1: [Blue & Pink Creatures looking at the Violet Creature. The Blue Creature asks] “Are you Blue or Pink?”
Cell 2 [The Violet Creature answers] “I am Violet"
Cell 3: [The Pink Creature asks skeptically] “No, but what are you really?”
Cell 4: [The Violet Creature stares silently at them with a bemused & aggravated expression]


Happy Halloween! 




yeah it’s not always good to label people and ‘put them into boxes’, but also sometimes people like discovering boxes and placing themselves inside because they’re cosy and comfortable and they fit just right. words like fat and black and disabled and gay and trans aren’t bad, and people are allowed to put themselves into boxes if it helps them establish their identity

People are like cats. They don’t like being forced into a box, but give them a box that’s comfy and feels right to them, and they will crawl right into it and have a sit.

When bi folks come out
Please don’t think you know better
Trust what they tell you

Don’t believe we’re bi?
Nevertheless, we persist
We keep coming out


I think the shittiest thing about being bi/pan/ace or any other invisible queer identity is putting in so much effort to defend the queer community all the time, and at the end of the day there’s still someone in that SAME community telling you you aren’t valid. 

and like, god forbid you date a straight person.


Happy Bisexual Awareness Week!