Category: bisexuality

Monosexuals, please stop writing songs about bi people:

As far as I can tell, people who aren’t bi have only even written two types of songs about bi people;

  1. “My partner (usually girlfriends because bi men barely exist in mainstream consciousness) is bi, it’s so hot, we’re gonna have a threesome”
  2. “The person I like/have been flirting with got a boy/girlfriend (which ever would make them in a “straight passing” relationship) instead of being with me, so they must be a fake gay”

Currently, #LiamPayneIsOverParty is trending on Twitter because of the biphobic song on his new album, LP1. “Both Ways” is supposedly a song about Payne’s bisexual girlfriend…

Payne is not the first straight man to use the fetishizesation of bi women as a catchy hook in his music. Other examples include the Weekend’s “Lost in the Fire” & Tinie Tempah’s “Miami to Ibiza”. These songs and the many others like them perpetuate the dangerous stereotype of bi women as hypersexual, sex toys for straight couples, or down for anything…  

Bi people also have to deal with the second type of invalidating songs, often from gay or lesbian artists (I’ve personally come across a lot more from lesbians than gay men). Examples include GRLWood’s “Bisexual”, Hayley Kiyoko’s “Curious”, and Tegan and Sarah’s “Boyfriend”…

All of these songs rely on the biphobic stereotypes that bi women are just straight women looking for a bit of adventure, unwilling to leave their boyfriends, cheaters, and just all-round bad or unreliable partners…

While these songs aren’t as damaging as those written by straight men, mainly because queer artists will never been given as much mainstream attention or clout, they do contribute to the “bad partner” narrative that makes bi people more vulnerable to jealousy-based abuse and to the double discrimination that causes bi people to have worse mental health outcomes than gay men or lesbians…

when female musicians such as Demi Lavato, Rita Ora, or Ariana Grande who have up until now been assumed straight release songs about their multigender attraction, they are often accused of queerbaiting or ‘doing it for attention’ because bi people face a higher burden of proof when it comes to our queer credentials than other members of the LGBT community…

So monosexuals, it’s time to stop writing songs about us. You’ve done a pretty terrible job so far…

Seeking a New Lens to Study Same-Sex Behavior in Animals:

“The expectation has been that same-sex sexual behavior evolved in different species independently, against this default background of heterosexual sex,” says Ambika Kamath, a researcher at the University of California, Berkeley, and co-author on the study.

“And what we’re saying is that baseline isn’t necessarily the right baseline”…

Instead, the researchers suggest that same sex behavior is bound up in the very origins of animal sex. It hasn’t had to continually re-evolve: It’s always been there…

An issue with past research in the field, Dr. Lambert said, is that unexamined cultural projections — largely by the white heterosexual men who have dominated the field — resulted in many researchers failing to accurately document what they were seeing…

researchers suggest that same-sex behavior is bound up in the very origins of animal sex. It hasn’t had to continually re-evolve: It’s always been there…

Variation is the baseline, and that baseline persists to this day.”

Myths About Bisexual People Aren’t Just Wrong — They’re Dangerous:

I always knew that women are at a higher risk of sexual assault and relationship violence … But what I didn’t know is, we are more vulnerable to violence depending on our sexual orientation. And bisexual women are particularly at risk…

Nicole Johnson a psychology professor at Lehigh University was researching sexual violence victimization when she noticed a trend: bisexual women experience more harm … she argues that three factors make bi women more likely to be abused. 

  1. First, cultural stereotypes portray bisexual women as constantly sexually available, regardless of our consent.
  2. Second, high rates of substance use across the LGBTQ community leave us vulnerable to violence.
  3. Finally, biphobic harassment—being targeted especially for our identities—ups our risk.“

“These disparities are the result of having to exist in hostile and toxic social environments,” says Robyn Ochs “They’re not a result of our identities” too often, people blame bi identity for what is, in reality, preconceived notions about bisexual people that promote society-wide discrimination. This focus on discrimination is called the minority stress model “Living under stress is exhausting,” says Ochs. “It’s not good for our health.”

One stressor that bi women face, as Johnson found, is harmful stereotypes about our sexuality It’s a reality faced by bisexual women in American culture, and it’s called hypersexualization “People often mistake someone coming out as bisexual as a sexual invitation,” says Ochs…

Wait what did Liam Payne do

He just released his solo album which includes the song Both Way about dating a bisexual women and how he loves that she’s into threesomes and that her attraction to girls turns him on. Basically the lyrics just fetishize bisexual people and reinforces the harmful stereotype that bi women’s sexuality only exists to gratify male partners. Take a look at the lyrics and you’ll understand better how gross it is

I was in a polyamorous and abusive relationship for 7 years… here’s what I learned:

queeranarchism:

This is absolutely recommended reading for anyone polyamorous. We don’t talk nearly enough about what abuse looks like in a polyamorous context and what parts of how we practice polyamory can enable abuse or keep us trapped in abusive relationships

bitalks:

Safe spaces, however they come, are invaluable. I am a 25yr old practising Christian. From a very young age I was aware that I was attracted to all genders, and I have loved both men and women, though only ever dated men. 

As a practising Christian I feel that it took me a lot longer than it may otherwise have for me to come to terms with my sexuality and I have only come out in the last month. In the Christian society marriage is often seen as the only appropriate vision of true love, and in the same breath many Christian organisations condemn (or simply don’t support) same-sex relationships. I love my faith, it is a huge part of who I am. As is the connection, companionship and support I find within my Church. But I do not feel safe in sharing myself fully with them. On occasion I have tried to bring same-sex relationships into conversations with my fellowship group but the general consensus is not to talk about the issue until it becomes an issue. 

I have come to realise that having a space where all of life is discussed, or up for discussion….where no topic is condemned, banned, frowned upon or felt to be inappropriate…this kind of space is VITAL for young people. In fact, for everyone.  There is nothing to be gained from hiding the truth or avoiding so-called “difficult” topics such as sexuality, gender variation, love, sex, pornography, body image.

So bring on the safe spaces…lets respect one another, our choices, our lifestyles….we are all human. 

biseckuals:

Friendly reminder that bisexuality includes all genders and identities 💕💜💙

the-bi-furious-babe:

Bisexual is a good and wholesome word. It’s okay to be bisexual. It’s okay to actually say you’re bisexual.

spectrealenko:

jo2ukes:

anyways unfriendly reminder that bi people exist and just bc u see a “"m/f”“ relationship doesnt mean both ppl are automatically ”“hetties”“ or can have their queer identity revoked just bc u, personally, dont think we’re gay enough based on a 0.5 second glance 🙂

It’s Not A Phase: Bisexual People Know Exactly Who They Are – Connecticut Voice:

The struggle of leaving the closet, coming out and living authentically is one of the biggest challenges anyone LGBTQ can face. Fears of rejection by family and friends, doubts about job security, and the threat of being judged a sinner can nail that door shut for years, even decades…

It’s to be expected that changes in our culture, our state laws, and a remarkable revolution in religious tolerance won’t be universally embraced. But who knew those advances might benefit certain members of our community more than others?

“An ex-girlfriend once exclaimed, ‘I just don’t understand how you can be attracted to men and women,’” says Vickey Allen of Middletown. “Luckily, my response – ‘I don’t understand how you’re only attracted to women’ – clarified it for her.” She was 12 when she first realized that she was bisexual, Allen says. Since then, she says, “I’ve encountered plenty of biphobia” [which] can occur both within and outside the LGBT community”

“I’ve known I’m bisexual all my life,” says Jamie Fernandez of Greater Hartford. “I came out to friends as bisexual and was quickly called ‘greedy,’ told to ‘pick a side’ or asked if I flipped a coin to decide. For many years, I denied part of myself.” Fernandez, 43, is a bisexual transgender woman in a polyamorous relationship … “I didn’t have issues with me being bisexual; others did,” Fernandez says. “And I internalized that and did the same harmful behaviors others do in dismissing the validity of others’ lives.”

That word – “phase” – is perhaps the most common misconception about bisexuality; that either someone cannot choose between being gay or straight or is temporarily caught in between those orientations … “If it is,” says Caleigh Price, 47, “It’s a reeeaaallllyyyy long one…”

“Everything is a phase. Life is a phase,” says Jen Carpenter… “To invalidate anyone’s sexuality based on a time frame is to invalidate life. Nothing is finite, most importantly life. But is that to say that we are not alive just because one day we will not be?”

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Bisexual+, Biromantic+ or otherwise MSpec? Same-gender Loving (SGL)?  Queer-identified or Questioning? Live work or play in Connecticut USA? Make sure to join the Bisexual+ Connecticut FB Group & the NYC Tri-State Area Meetup to keep up with all the many things that are going on in your community.