Category: Coming Out

It’s Not A Phase: Bisexual People Know Exactly Who They Are – Connecticut Voice:

The struggle of leaving the closet, coming out and living authentically is one of the biggest challenges anyone LGBTQ can face. Fears of rejection by family and friends, doubts about job security, and the threat of being judged a sinner can nail that door shut for years, even decades…

It’s to be expected that changes in our culture, our state laws, and a remarkable revolution in religious tolerance won’t be universally embraced. But who knew those advances might benefit certain members of our community more than others?

“An ex-girlfriend once exclaimed, ‘I just don’t understand how you can be attracted to men and women,’” says Vickey Allen of Middletown. “Luckily, my response – ‘I don’t understand how you’re only attracted to women’ – clarified it for her.” She was 12 when she first realized that she was bisexual, Allen says. Since then, she says, “I’ve encountered plenty of biphobia” [which] can occur both within and outside the LGBT community”

“I’ve known I’m bisexual all my life,” says Jamie Fernandez of Greater Hartford. “I came out to friends as bisexual and was quickly called ‘greedy,’ told to ‘pick a side’ or asked if I flipped a coin to decide. For many years, I denied part of myself.” Fernandez, 43, is a bisexual transgender woman in a polyamorous relationship … “I didn’t have issues with me being bisexual; others did,” Fernandez says. “And I internalized that and did the same harmful behaviors others do in dismissing the validity of others’ lives.”

That word – “phase” – is perhaps the most common misconception about bisexuality; that either someone cannot choose between being gay or straight or is temporarily caught in between those orientations … “If it is,” says Caleigh Price, 47, “It’s a reeeaaallllyyyy long one…”

“Everything is a phase. Life is a phase,” says Jen Carpenter… “To invalidate anyone’s sexuality based on a time frame is to invalidate life. Nothing is finite, most importantly life. But is that to say that we are not alive just because one day we will not be?”

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Bisexual+, Biromantic+ or otherwise MSpec? Same-gender Loving (SGL)?  Queer-identified or Questioning? Live work or play in Connecticut USA? Make sure to join the Bisexual+ Connecticut FB Group & the NYC Tri-State Area Meetup to keep up with all the many things that are going on in your community.

I’m in a Heterosexual Marriage. Do I Need to Come Out as Queer?:

When we come out to ourselves and to others, we’re doing a lot more than announcing sexual preferences or what have you. We are communicating the geometry of our souls as we understand it, giving others the opportunity to see us for who we are in a more complete way…

When bi folks come out
Please don’t think you know better
Trust what they tell you

Don’t believe we’re bi?
Nevertheless, we persist
We keep coming out

There are many ways to come out to someone. An endless amount of ways, actually.

Coming out is different to everyone, and some people like to plan it for a long time, choosing a special occasion for their moment. A few common ideas are coming out on National Coming Out Day, or on bi pride, for example.

Others prefer keeping it simple, not making a ‘big deal’ about it. You could come out with a pun, a joke, or just in the middle of a sentence.

Some like to ‘come out’ by introducing their same-sex partner, because straight people never have to come out at all, and it should be that normalized to be LGBTQ+, too. Choosing not to come out on principle is also totally valid.

You could plan it, or you could come out spontaneously, when the moment is there. You might come out several times in your life, to several people, and you might do it differently each time. There’s really no rules!

These are a few tips, but, whether you like it casual or ceremoniously, coming out is down to YOU. Only you can know how you want to do it, and coming out is a personal thing that only you can decide how to do. As long as you are ready, there really isn’t a perfect way to come out, or a perfect time for coming out.

I personally would do it the way you feel comfortable doing it, which is something I can’t tell you since I don’t know what you’d feel most comfortable with. My advice, take them to the side, say you have something you wanna talk about, just come out with it as simply as you can. And avoid saying “I think I’m bi”, because sometimes, when you show people you may have a seed of doubt (with the ‘I think’ they can use it against you. Be firm on who you are, and just say “I am bi.” Then perhaps, let them ask any questions they want to know to dispell their misconceptions about bi people. You can do it one at a time or all at once, depending on which you think would be best.

Also! You don’t have to tell the one who you think would be weird about it! You can just tell the people you’re comfortable with.

I’d actually say that IS homophobic…even passive homophobia like purposefully avoiding LGBT things or making snide remarks is homophobic. I don’t have enough information on whether it’s SAFE to come out, I think that’s up to you to determine, but beware that they sound homophobic, so I think it might be best to wait until you’re an adult, financially independent or have a back up plan (like someone to stay with if the environment became unsafe). I think it might be worthwhile figuring out more about their views first though? Like maybe bring up a television show or a friend who is LGBT and see how they react…that might give you a far better indication. Then once you have that, you can reassess the situation.

Being in the closet isn’t lying. Whatever you have to do for your safety or just your own health comes first, no one is entitled to personal details about yourself.

No one whose worth any of your time will think you lied or were a bad person for it.

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Page 97!!  Happy Pride Month!! 

Being Bi And In The Closet: Coming out as bisexual can be a uniquely tricky experience. You risk…

Coming out isn’t easy. Telling people that you are a different sexuality to what they’ve known you for years as is difficult. That’s why you deserve the love and happiness that we can give you.